Financial domination, or findom, is a form of BDSM that incorporates financial activities with psychological, sexual dominance and submission. In this relationship, the submissive gives money to the dominant partner in exchange for gifts and money, both private and public situations. As with other forms of BDSM, practices can vary significantly between partners, and in some relationships, little or no physical contact is involved at all. If you're curious about findom, but don't know where to start, here are some things you should know before embarking on your journey as a financial submissive or a financial dominant.
What is financial domination?
Essentially, financial domination allows people to enjoy BDSM play without forming a traditional relationship. Although some online services provide dominance and submission role-play or training, most findom relationships are between two adults who otherwise do not know each other. In these cases, one individual will pretend to be (or is) dominant while another pretends to be (or is) submissive. The submissive offers money or gifts to their dominant partner as a show of submission. They might pay for sessions where they're verbally insulted or humiliated by text messages or phone calls (Swallow, 2018). Most often, it's men offering money to women in exchange for humiliating interactions like barking like a dog on command, but it can work both ways.
Financial domination has been criticized for promoting objectification and unrealistic expectations about how much money slaves should give to dominants; however, many see it as a safe way to explore BDSM with little risk of personal harm. Absolute financial domination requires no physical interaction; instead, partners only act through written communication (email, instant messaging), allowing submissives to remain anonymous if they prefer or be incredibly demanding if they like (Griffiths, 2016).
A financial dominant may also practice dominance over their partner's finances in other ways. They might decide when and where their partner can buy groceries or purchase clothing. Some findom relationships include forced chastity, in which their partners have their genitals locked up so that they have no sexual release at all—until their dominant partner grants permission. It's crucial for both parties involved to talk carefully about what each person wants from these interactions before starting them in earnest; failure to discuss boundaries thoroughly could result in injury or embarrassment for either party.
Are There Any Legal Concerns With Financial Domination?
What does it mean when someone asks for financial domination, and why might some people be concerned about it being illegal? To get a clearer picture of what financial domination involves, let's look at who is practicing financial domination in our society. Financial domination, also called money slavery or findom, refers to dominance over another in an interpersonal relationship where one party pays a sum of money (McCracken & Brooks-Gordon, 2021). Although other practices of BDSM relationships may often accompany it, there may be virtually no further intimacy between the individuals. The purpose of such a practice may be humiliation (see pegging) or excitement for both parties. Nevertheless, it can help relieve stress and give more meaning to life when done with caring motivations.
The legality of financial domination often raises concern, but no laws expressly forbid it. Some countries allow prostitutes to solicit in specific districts or only during certain hours. And since most financial dominants are not offering sex or anything else in exchange for money (unlike prostitutes), there's no evidence that financial domination falls under prostitution law (McCracken & Brooks-Gordon, 2021). In fact, by paying for sexual services, you may be putting yourself at greater risk of prosecution—in some countries, it's legal to have a mistress but illegal to pay her! But don't take my word for it—your best bet is to check with an attorney licensed to practice law in your country.
Ways to Make Money as a Findom
Financial domination or findom, a practice of dominance and submission, in which a submissive gives gifts and money to a financial dominant. Findom isn't necessarily related to BDSM. For many people, findom means simply giving money to someone who takes care of you and may not have any sexual connotations at all. However, financial domination goes beyond that. In some cases, it involves more than just one-sided lusting; it also includes mutual respect and admiration between two adults who both get something out of what they do, whether financially or sexually. Other practices of BDSM relationships may often accompany the relation, but there may be virtually no further intimacy between the individuals.
The most common way to become successful as a findomme is to use social media platforms such as Twitter or Facebook (Swallow, 2018); when people like what they see, they follow you and keep coming back for more updates. Remember that having thousands of followers won't make any difference if no one ever actually buys anything from you; it's all about consistency. The idea behind findom is that you get others to pay attention to you and then use their attention as leverage to make money. As a findomme, your customers will send you gifts, usually in cash or expensive products.
Common Mistakes and What Not to Do
It can be straightforward to make some prevalent mistakes regarding financial domination, which could lead to your potential dominant becoming extremely frustrated with you. To help avoid some of these common mistakes, consider these tips. First and foremost, never take money from a client if you don't deliver on your service or product! This one is so important that it bears repeating:
Never, ever take money from a client without giving what you have promised to them.
It's disrespectful and hurts your reputation in the long run. Second, try not to get into any arguments with someone who pays you; you need their money after all.
Lastly, you might want to consider asking your potential dominant if they have any limits regarding finances. Some dominants might be okay with receiving payment with one form of currency, such as gift cards or in-store credit. Other dominants might have certain limits about what type of gifts are acceptable for them (or some prefer that their submissives only buy them things from stores or websites like Louis Vuitton, Cartier, or Chanel). Whatever their preferences may be, make sure you find out before doing absolutely anything.
A warning: There are dangers to be concerned with financial domination, and there are certainly risks involved in being a financial submissive, especially if you aren't extremely careful. These issues have more to do with your safety than anything else; and I mean these in the best possible way:
Never arrange a meeting where you give money or gifts without any plan first; If you cannot submit financially, don't do it. Finally, if something seems even remotely shady, sever all ties immediately.
Is this relationship for you?
Financial domination isn't for everyone. Before deciding to engage in financial domination, you should ask yourself a few questions. Ask yourself if you even want to get involved in a financial BDSM relationship at all. Some people aren't interested in such an arrangement, and that's okay. It might not be something that appeals to you; however, if it does appeal to you and you still have questions about what findom is or whether it's right for you, here are some things to consider before getting involved, as financial domination can take on many forms:
One submissive may make a financial dominant their purse slave, where they give money over time until they are fully financially dominated by their financial dominatrix (or just domme). Others may request short-term arrangements with no strings attached.
Whatever your desires and expectations are, it's essential to know them before you get into any relationships like these. This will also allow you to figure out how much money (if any) you're willing to give up for whatever level of dominance and submission you're looking for—as well as how far down into financial domination territory you're comfortable going in terms of giving gifts and money away freely.
If you're interested in financial domination, you might want to consider why it appeals to you. Maybe you're looking for someone to take control of your finances, or perhaps it's a form of submission and dominance that piques your interest. A significant part of getting into financial domination relationships is knowing why you're doing so, that it requires a significant level of maturity, as well as how much money and time you want to spend on it. That way, when someone approaches asking for those things from you—whether they be direct or indirect requests—you can say yes or no based on what's suitable for your desires and expectations.
As always, play safe, my friends.
Griffiths , M. D. (2016, December 8). The Psychology of Financial Dominatrixes. Psychology Today. Retrieved February 18, 2022, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-excess/201612/the-psychology-financial-dominatrixes
McCracken, R., & Brooks-Gordon, B. (2021). Findommes, Cybermediated Sex Work, and Rinsing. Sexuality research & social policy : journal of NSRC : SR & SP, 18(4), 837–854. https://doi.org/10.1007/s13178-021-00609-3
Swallow , M. (2018, May). Digitally submissive. Digitally submissive | The Psychologist. Retrieved February 19, 2022, from https://thepsychologist.bps.org.uk/volume-31/may-2018/digitally-submissive