Many myths about polyamory are floating around out there, mainly because this type of relationship isn’t as mainstream as monogamous relationships tend to be. If you’re interested in learning more about polyamory and whether it’s the proper lifestyle for you, it helps to get the facts first before jumping into anything because deciding to pursue a polyamorous relationship can be daunting, especially if you’ve never experienced one before.
The three types of Polyamorous Relationships
First, both partners agree not to pursue any other romantic or sexual relationships outside of their partnership in a closed relationship. The second: Semi-closed relationships typically allow for some outside contact—either through talking, flirting, dating, etc.—but require mutual consent from both partners before anything happens. Lastly, when it comes to open relationships, each couple defines what open means for them; for example, it could mean being allowed to have sex with other people or only kiss someone else without your partner present. It's important to note that these relationship types aren't rigid categories; they don't exist on a scale where one level gets better than another level.
Benefits and Challenges
There are some myths about polyamorous relationships, but having multiple relationships in your life can bring benefits and challenges. On the one hand, you’ll never feel alone. On the other hand, you’ll always have someone there to love and support you. If a relationship has hit a rough patch, your partners will likely be able to help pick up where things left off. Your lovers might also be able to contribute helpful advice for getting through tough times with your other partner(s). Many poly people report feeling like they have better communication with their significant others because they know who they are dating outside of their primary relationship, leading to more honest conversations with loved ones and deeper understanding across all parties involved.
Relationship Myths
There are a lot of myths about polyamorous relationships. The first myth to dispel is that you have to love every person in your relationship. This isn’t true. While it’s essential to keep everyone happy, there are many different ways of doing so, and true love doesn’t have to factor into every single relationship in your life. It may seem strange or intimidating, but you don’t need to be a saint (or even perfect) to start and maintain an open relationship. However, you need to follow some basic rules and boundaries; after all, as long as no one gets hurt, anything goes!
However, don’t treat polyamory like an easy way out by not treating your partners respectfully. Be considerate of their feelings at all times and make sure they know they can talk to you when they need support. If someone has become involved with another partner without discussing things with you or has broken up a primary relationship without any warning at all, then maybe polyamory isn’t for them after all—or perhaps it is for them, and now you get to move on without being heartbroken! Either way, remember: relationships should always be conducted with honesty and integrity.
Are there chances of jealousy in such relationships?
Since polyamorous relationships are built on honesty and trust, there are chances of jealousy (Behel, 2021). The partners in such a relationship are aware of each other’s feelings towards other people. Hence, they know when their partner may be facing any jealousy issue. Moreover, they also make sure that they give enough time to each other so that there will not be any potential reason for developing a feeling of insecurity or doubts in their minds. A polyamorous relationship can succeed if all its participants are open-minded and believe in living with no restrictions or limitations as far as love is concerned.
How to deal with difficult conversations
When you hear something negative about yourself, your first instinct may be to react. However, if you want to build a fulfilling relationship that lasts, you must learn how to deal with difficult conversations and confrontations head-on. It's equally important that both partners in a polyamorous relationship have good communication skills so they can openly discuss their feelings and avoid misunderstandings or hurt feelings. These tips will help you learn how to deal with difficult conversations when communicating with someone special.
What you say during these interactions will affect your current and future relationships. Being honest with yourself means knowing when to speak up or back down. Decide how involved you want to be in another person's life before having a conversation on an emotionally sensitive topic like money or career success, for example. Be careful not to dwell on past mistakes when dealing with touchy subjects; instead, use current examples of how these conflicts are affecting either of you as individuals now as well as your relationship moving forward. It's also helpful to develop creative solutions outside of traditional means instead of relying on just one possible outcome from discussing any subject matter.
Is it sustainable for a long-term commitment?
No. A large part of polyamorous relationships is having multiple romantic partners, "which could make it harder to develop deeper connections over time," notes Carrie Jenkins, a philosophy professor at the University of British Columbia who studies love and sex (Jenkins, 2017). If you can't allow yourself to develop meaningful attachments with more than one person at a time, then polyamory won't work for you—and that's OK. Different people have different expectations for their love lives, and that's one of the beautiful things about being human. So long as everyone involved in your relationship knows what they're getting into, then there's no harm in exploring how many loves you want at once.
It seems like it would be problematic; however, allow me to restate: Polyamory works best if all parties are aware of what they're getting into from day one. Although some couples might decide to open up their relationship after falling in love and getting married, research suggests that adding non-monogamy too late in a relationship can lead to anxiety or jealousy.
How do I start exploring my options?
Does it sound if being in a polyamorous relationship seems right for you? It's essential to explore your options before jumping into anything. Reading some informational articles and talking to people already part of open relationships can help you understand what's involved. Here are three ways to start exploring your options:
- Talk to people in genuine relationships.
If you already know someone successful with non-monogamy, ask them about their experiences! Talking with other people is a great way to get some insight into how things work and whether or not non-monogamy would be good for you.
- Explore some polyamorous dating sites.
Non-monogamous dating sites may seem like they're only going to introduce you to other people in open relationships, but that isn't necessarily true. It may take longer than traditional dating sites, but finding love doesn't always happen immediately! Just be aware there might not be many individuals actively searching since most users have seen at least one partner through word of mouth and friend introductions.
- Read some informational resources.
Many articles and books exist about non-monogamous relationships from various perspectives. Researching is a great way to start understanding different styles of polyamory so you can make sure it will work for you.
As always, play safe, my friends.
Reference
Behel, P. (2021, February 5). Polyamory: A study of love multiplied. Iris Publishers. Retrieved March 12, 2022, from https://irispublishers.com/oajap/fulltext/polyamory-a-study-of-love-multiplied.ID.000585.php
Jenkins, C. (2017). What Love is: And what it could be. Perseus Books LLC.