Pegging sex, known in some circles as pegging, and in others as dildos to men. Pegging can be an exciting way to expand your sexual horizons if you're interested. But, what exactly is pegging, anyway? What does it mean when someone tells you they're into pegging? And, if you want to try it out, how do you get started?
Pegging' may sound like the latest hip new dance craze, but it's quite different. In this article, I'll talk about what pegging sex is, why some people engage in pegging sex, and tips on how to begin.
What is Pegging?
If you're unfamiliar with pegging, you might be wondering what exactly it is. Pegging is a sexual practice in which an individual wears a strap-on dildo. The male equivalent of pegging involves wearing a strap-on dildo while penetrating another person, either vaginally or anally (Glickman 2013). Many people are interested in pegging, but they aren't sure what it means or whether they would enjoy it as part of their sex life. Learning more about pegging can help answer some questions you may have.
Simply put, it's any sex play in which one partner (typically a woman) wears a strap-on dildo to penetrate their partner (usually their male or female lover); or dildos in leather harnesses sex. So what does pegging mean for couples that try it? According to studies, quite a bit (Aguilar 2017). Many men report that they find it more pleasurable than other forms of penetrative sex because of how closely it resembles penetrative vaginal intercourse—even going so far as to say that they prefer penetrating their male partners with dildos--having penetrated them. This I've been told.
Myths About Pegging
Many people believe that pegging sex doesn't exist or is only practiced by gay men. The truth is much more interesting: Studies have shown that women are far more likely to peg their male partners than vice versa (Rosenthal et al., 2012). There are several myths surrounding pegging, and it's important to debunk these before moving forward. So first, let's take a look at some of these myths, then we can get into how to do it if you decide you want to try it!
For me, I tried other dildos when I started, but nothing felt comfortable; I think smaller ones might work better for beginners because they're easier to use and don't slide around as they do with bigger dildos; plus, there are fewer balls on them, so they tend not to get in your way as much!
Myths About Pegging, Debunked
First, pegging is sex. If you're engaging in penile-anal intercourse, you're having sex. Even if you use a strap-on to penetrate your partner, it's still real sex. You may have heard this myth before, and it might seem to make sense. However, we're here to debunk them to decide for yourself whether or not you believe them! Here are some common myths about pegging that I've debunked:
Myth #1: Pegging Sex Isn't Real Penetration
You may think that because pegging involves toys or hands in place of actual penises, it doesn't count as sex. But sex isn't limited to penis-in-vagina penetration—it just happens to be one way people have sex. If a couple always has traditional intercourse without any other types of sexual play, it means their relationship is missing out on lots of fun options!
Myth #2: Only Straight Women Like Pegging
You don't need to be into guys sexually to enjoy pegging with your partner—you need an open mind and adventurous spirit.
Ways to start Pegging
Pegging is an increasingly popular kink. It might seem intimidating at first, but there are ways to get started--especially if you don't know what to expect. The first step to starting with pegging (either as top or bottom) is telling your partner that you want to explore pegging with them. They may be surprised, but most people are okay with trying new things in bed—and so long as it's done right, pegging can be fun for both partners! If you're new to BDSM, perhaps some dirty talk is a great place to begin. Discuss it. Please don't act random and bring it up in passing during sex.
How to have a successful session
Keep in mind that pegging does not have to be a kinky activity, but it can certainly be if you want it to be. However, if you are starting with your partner who has never experienced pegging before, there are several things you should do or at least consider before actually engaging in your first session. Start by talking about what each of you like or dislike when it comes to sex (that 'real talk' I've mentioned before). Be explicit to know precisely what kind of stimulation feels good to both parties. Use some dirty talk during foreplay. Such as "I'm going to stick my finger (in your ass) now; or whatever phrase you choose may help take away some initial anxiety because both parties know what is happening.
Of course, there may be other questions you may have along the way: is this feeling good? Do you like what I am doing now? Are we moving too fast? Too slow? Am I hurting you? This can help guide both towards an experience both of you can enjoy and helps establish trust between partners. These suggestions are not always finite nor all-inclusive. The expressed importance here is being honest and safe.
To sum up, the key here, and always when I explore these most exciting topics, is communication. Because there are few taboos about pegging, and you can talk about with your partner exactly what you want during sex. If experienced, then teach so that they know what to do. That way, if your partner needs more direction than they usually would, they know exactly how to ask for it. It is also crucial to let your partner know if something doesn't feel good as quickly as possible—and even better if you can tell them how they can improve! Learn what works best for both of you.
And as always, stay safe.
References
Aguilar, J. (2017). Pegging and the heterosexualization of anal sex: An analysis of Savage Love advice. Queer Studies in Media & Pop Culture, 2(3), 275+. https://link.gale.com/apps/doc/A511005181/AONE?u=anon~15fb96a8&sid=googleScholar&xid=162d7179
Glickman, C. (2013, April 1). How pegging can help save the world. Charlie Glickman. Retrieved January 21, 2022, from https://charlieglickman.com/how-pegging-can-help-save-the-world/
Rosenthal, L., Levy, S. R., & Earnshaw, V. A. (2012, December). Social dominance orientation relates to believing men should dominate sexually, sexual self-efficacy, and taking free female condoms among undergraduate women and men. Sex roles. Retrieved January 21, 2022, from https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24482555/ DOI: 10.1007/s11199-012-0207-6