Talking dirty can be a hot addition to your sex life. There is nothing sexier than loud vocal sex with someone you are incredibly attracted to when done right. The brain is our biggest sexual organ. It is no wonder that hearing our partners' deepest desires and fantasies and what they are enjoying at the moment can turn us on so much. However, if you are not used to being vocal in the bedroom, just the thought of it can feel nerve-racking, unnatural, and awkward. It could even potentially turn your partner off if done incorrectly. While you may think replicating to hubby what you heard on Pornhub the other night is a good idea. Hint: it's not. What most people want to hear in bed is much simpler.
It is better to start small and then work your way up to the bigger stuff. Otherwise, you may shock your partner if you come out with a phrase you have not said before, and it could ruin the moment. So let's guide you through approaching dirty talk and becoming comfortable using it. Words you can eventually say to your partner that will have them creaming the sheets.
Discover Trigger Points
When it comes to dirty talk, everyone has preferences for what they want to hear. What works for one person may not work for another. While you may think you know what your partner wants to hear, experimenting with your words is the best way to discover this. Start by sending your partner a suggestive but straightforward text message and see how they respond: what underwear you are wearing, what you want them to do to you, what you enjoyed in the bedroom last time, or something more in-direct: like how you have been thinking about them all day, to get their thoughts racing!
Before moving it to the bedroom, experiment with sensual messages by text to discover what they want to hear most. Name-calling during these suggestive text messages, make a mental note of the phrases they use to describe and name both your intimate body parts. Does he prefer to use the term cock or dick? Does she choose to use pussy or vagina? Do they also like to be called something more risqu̕e in the bedroom?
Most people want to be called baby or daddy in bed—just as some people hate the phrase. Others prefer to be called slut, yet some would find that degrading. Therefore, it is important to find out what words turn you and your partner on and feel sexy for you both.
Less is more! Once you have had a few suggestive conversations by text and know your partners' trigger points, you can move things to the sheets. So the saying goes, less is more, especially true for dirty talk, because one-word directives are often people's favorite trigger words. Words like fuck, right there, harder, slower, or faster feel natural and easy to say and are great starters to progress into more precise phrases and commands later.
Explain your Arousal
"That feels so good, you're making me so wet right now," or "you feel amazing," letting your partner know what you are feeling in the heat of the moment will not only have them gripping the sheets! Talking dirty in bed will also help you tune into your arousal—highlighting what works for you. The more in-tune you feel with your arousal, the more this will turn your partner on, so it's a win-win situation.
When you are in the heat of the moment and feel your most carefree and comfortable, you can turn the dirty talk up a notch to push your partner over the edge. If your partner enjoys a little bit of power play in the bedroom, you can command what you want them to do to you, or vice versa, and say what you want to do to them. I'm sure there's plenty. Suggest things you usually do in bed that you are comfortable with, combined with a name they like to be called. An example of this could be the delicious lick my pussy, baby. This is a powerful command phrase and can help you control the intimacy and turn your partner on to get you what you want. Ladies, we know the importance of getting what we want in the bedroom, don't we? Your most intimate desires? So, have fun with power-play commands and experiment to see what works best for you both.
It's normal to have sexual fantasies which you may be dying to act out. I bet you have one in your mind right now. Even though it can be taboo, we all have secret thoughts that get us off. However, sexual norms are finally shifting, and we can feel free to express ourselves sexually more now than ever before. Reveal your dirty secrets to your sexual partner and use your imaginations to create a sexy scenario to act out with one another. The dirty talk could be dominant, bondage, role-play, or anal sex dressed as a doctor or nurse—a superhero or dragon. Anything is possible as long as it's consensual, and it gets you both off—anything goes!
Once you have come up with the rules of play, queue in the dirty talk! The rules of how-to dirty talk, delicious and filthy talk, are the same as before. Be respectful if you wish. Submissive. Say yes, sir, rather than just baby. Use phrases associated with the fantasy scenario you come up with. Maybe you would be punished or spanked if you failed that exam one more time? Set the scene. Let your imagination run wild!