Some people love to watch and fantasize about their partners having sex with other people, but what exactly are the motivations behind this fetish? But before we get into reasons some couples get into cuckolding, let's dive into the history of cuckolding, cuckhold meaning, and why people enjoy it as part of their relationship.
A cuckold is someone who finds sexual gratification in their partner having sex with other people. The term comes from cuckold, which means that someone's spouse has been unfaithful (Rudder 2020). While this term usually refers to infidelity in real life, in the realm of kink and sexuality, it can refer to consensual non-monogamy, and marital role-play (Cuckoldress & Ley). Another way of saying it: cuckolding, sometimes referred to as hotwifing or cuckold fetish, is the fantasy where a married person experiences sexual satisfaction by watching their partner have sex with another person (Cuckoldress & Ley). Cuckolding can also be incredibly arousing for those who enjoy this fetish to think about their partners having sex with others without them being present. The practice of cuckolding, or a husband watching his wife have sex with another man, has been around for ages (Rudder 2020).
That's pretty much all there is to it, but a little knowledge can go a long way, like many things in life. For example, you might be wondering how a man or woman can get pleasure from knowing that another man or woman has bedded their wife, husband, or significant other? Or maybe you've asked yourself why some people would want the one they're most passionate about and watch them have sex?
Beginner's Guide to Cuckolding
Well, you might be surprised to find out that more couples are turning to cuckolding to spice up their sex lives. So buckle up because we're about to drop some major knowledge bombs about one of today's hottest fetishes—cuckolding!
Many individuals and couples interested in experiencing a threesome fantasize about what it would be like to watch their partner have sex with another person. Perhaps it's just human nature to wonder if one could handle watching their partner have sex with someone else. Still, many never take that fantasy further than daydreaming about being a spectator. Some decide that watching their partner make love to someone else isn't for them at all.
For those who do want to experience cuckolding, there are different levels of involvement one can have. Some people might ask what's so hot about having an unwilling husband watch his wife have sex with someone else. But to many, a consensual situation between adults like a cuckold relationship can be a huge turn-on. If you're thinking about trying it out, get ready to roll up your sleeves and prepare to have the most honest and truthful talk with your partner. Real talk. But, kinks, or fetishes does not work if you and yours cannot be sincere and trusting of one another.
This isn't a game, my friend. For some, this is a very real lifestyle choice. These sexual proclivities come with fascinating benefits when all involved are consensual and possess in-depth knowledge and understanding of all nuances. Educate yourself. I've included a peer-reviewed article and book reference below for you to further review.
How do I know if My Partner Wants to be A Cuckhold?
Some might be asking: Does my partner want to explore a new dimension in our sex life? Cuckolding can be an exciting way to bring variety into your bedroom, so you may be wondering how to get started. Cuckold fetishists are typically aroused by watching their partner have sex with another man—or even having sex with another man themselves. But where does that desire come from? And what does it mean for a couple who wants to explore new options together?
Ask if you're unsure if your partner wants to be a cuckold. They might be a little shy about it at first, but direct communication is an integral part of any healthy relationship. Here's where the 'real talk' discussion begins, as I mentioned before. If they're not interested in being a cuckold, that's perfectly fine. Remember that even just talking about these sorts of things with your partner can strengthen your bond; even if you're not able to try out every fantasy you have (or find one that works for both of you), there are still many ways to improve your sex life and strengthen your connection. If they do express interest in exploring their options as a cuckhold, discuss what each of those means and how they can work into your lives together.
How Do I Tell My Partner I want Them To Be A Cuckhold?
When a wife or partner has sex with someone else while her partner watches or participates—it can be a thrilling sexual fantasy. However, many men worry that they'll upset their partners if they bring up cuckolding.
Cuckolding is one of those sexual fetishes that causes a lot of confusion. But sometimes, simply knowing your boyfriend or husband would like you to have sex with another man--or vice versa, is a complete turn-on. Unfortunately, just knowing this isn't enough to overcome any fears you may have about exploring cuckolding. In addition, the discussion can be difficult for those interested in cuckolding because they don't want to hurt their partner's feelings by bringing up something they aren't comfortable talking about; others aren't sure how to explain how they're turned on by sharing him sexually.
But Isn't it Cheating When Someone Enjoys Being A Cuckhold?
It's important to remember that both parties must have consented to a sexual act for it to be cheating. When everyone involved enjoys being part of a cuckold situation, there is no infidelity—and thus no cheating. Cuckolding can include many different sexual acts. However, most cuckold relationships can only involve one partner receiving pleasure from watching their partner have sex with another person.
Understandably, many people have questions about what it means to be a cuckold. Specifically, many wonder if being a cuckold is cheating or somehow immoral. After all, mainstream media paints an inaccurate picture of how cuckolding works. As such, let's tackle the question right off: As long as both partners agree that being a cuckold is part of their sexual lifestyle, and both are consenting adults, then there isn't any moral problem with enjoying sexual acts involving cucking.
Are There Any Rules For This?
Sure. In a more general sense, one might say that any man or woman who watches their partner having sex with another person would qualify as a cuckold — but that goes against what we're talking about here. As one might expect, there are no set rules for cuckolding. After all, every relationship is different. That said, most couples find that these guidelines work best in their relationships:
- The man must be comfortable with his partner having sex with another man, or vice versa.
- The couple should be in a serious relationship or married before engaging in sexual activity with other partners.
- Neither partner should feel pressured to engage in such activities or believe that doing so will fix any issues they may have (if problems exist between them).
- Only consensual activities should occur—no coercion or assault allowed.
- Both partners should respect each other's boundaries: If your significant other doesn't want to do something, it doesn't get done.
It's as simple as that.
Cuckoldress, V., & Ley, D. (2021, April 16). Unraveling the cuck shame spiral with Dr David Ley. The Venus Cuckoldress Podcast. episode. Retrieved January 19, 2022, from https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-the-venus-cuckoldress-podc-81268051/episode/unraveling-the-cuck-shame-spiral--81334943/.
Rudder, M. (2020, May 18). Cuckolding : The revolutionary guide. Bookdepository.com. Retrieved January 19, 2022, from https://www.bookdepository.com/Cuckolding-Marisa-Rudder/9780999180433